CATHY MCMORRIS TURNIPHEAD RODGERS’S STUPID NEWSLETTER

Yup, I am on her mailing list, so I get a steamin’ helping of tripe handed to me on a pretty plate just about every month or so. Generally, I blow them off. But this one … this one … talk about a valiant attempt by Cathy to completely rewrite history. Soldier through it with courage, reader, for there is a wonderful quote at the end.
From: Congresswoman Cathy McMorris Rodgers <wa05ima@mail.house.gov>
To: spokaloo@yahoo.com
Sent: Friday, October 4, 2013 4:03 PM
Subject: Update from Washington, DC

Dear Friend,

I wanted to take this opportunity to provide you with an update on the recent events in Washington, DC.    On October 1, the federal government shut down many operations – and furloughed hundreds of thousands of its employees –after the President and Senate Democrats refused to negotiate any of the funding bills the House sent over to them in the past three weeks.

 You know, you guys have had, what – 40 votes on this stupid Obamacare repeal, which if you were any politician at all, you would KNOW was not going to be repealed. Do you REALLY think that the rest of the House and Senate and the POTUS doesn’t really know how you feel about this? That perhaps, somehow, you haven’t been clear enough about it? Are you under the impression that, somehow, on the millionth time you talked about it, some special magic was gonna happen in your “negotiations” and give your band of nut cases everything they wanted? Incidentally – you’ve altered the story on what you want so many times already, it is difficult to pin down what the HELL your goal actually is.

 It was an extraordinarily difficult thing to see happen.

Yeah, right. All those grinning, backslapping Republicans leaving the shutdown vote really looked bummed about it.

 Nearly 800,000 federal employees don’t know when they’ll receive their next pay check.    They want certainty, decisiveness, and confidence that their elected leaders can protect them. That’s why Republicans are working every day to get this government open again and get the people of Eastern Washington and America back to work.  And it’s frustrating and unfortunate that the President and Senate Democrats are standing in the way of letting that happen.  

 If you’re so upset about all those poor people, then HAVE THE UP-DOWN VOTE ON A CLEAN BILL. It isn’t that hard to fix! And blaming other people for YOUR IGNORANT PUSHINESS does NOT make you look good.

But we won’t let that stop us from acting.    We’re working every day to get this government open again by putting forward legislation that will allow federal agencies to resume its operations as soon as possible.    Military and national intelligence operations are continuing – and Medicare and Social Security will keep going – right through the shutdown.

 Do you really think this piecemeal thing is going to stop anybody from figuring out that you cruel SOB’s on the right wing DID THIS TO US? Nice to know YOUR interests are being protected, since you’re in a position to keep yourself well refreshed from the public trough, while so many people are getting SCREWED by your short-sighted decisions.

But national parks, monuments, the National Institutes of Health, the Veterans Administration, NASA and other agencies have sent home hundreds of thousands of workers.    In Spokane, Fairchild Air Force Base has furloughed some civilian personnel, and other federal research facilities are closed.   Three-thousand miles away, in the “other” Washington, we’ve had to furlough most of our staff and until the government re-opens, we cannot help constituents with VA, immigration or other issues.

I have voluntarily chosen to withhold my salary during the shutdown, and it goes without saying that I’ve suspended all political fundraising events.

Oh my God, one of the richest people in America is foregoing her salary. Big whoop. Here’s hoping agricultural mega-lobbyist hubby Brian is gonna bring home enough massive slabs of bacon to support you in the style to which you have become accustomed.

But this is about much more than a debate over a funding bill.    It’s a fundamental difference about how to govern, about what kind of future we want to leave for our children and grandchildren.

Right. And I and MANY MANY MANY OTHERS do NOT agree with your concept on “how to govern”. And spare me the malarkey about “what kind of future for our children and grandchildren”, Ms. Monsanto-Keystone Pipeline-Global Climate Change Denier.

  Let me explain how we’ve reached this point.    For three years, since Obamacare passed on a strictly partisan vote – pushed through with every parliamentary tactic in the book – the Administration and Senate have refused to listen to the American people.

Look, you lost every round on this. Your lost your legal challenges. You lost the Supreme Court decision. You lost the 2012 ELECTION for crying out loud. CAN YOU NOT TAKE A HINT? A lot of people WANT THIS – the ONLY thing that will actually benefit them directly when they pay their taxes. We certainly are getting NOTHING out of you House congresspeople – you’re so busy yakking about abortion and shutdowns, you haven’t had time to legislate ANYTHING ELSE. NOT ONE major piece of legislation has come out of the House since you became the majority. NOT ONE.

Sadly, the only time we have made any progress is when faced with one “fiscal crisis” or another, each one brought on by the federal government’s unprecedented growth in spending.    Even today, the federal government is spending over $600 billion more a year than we bring in – and that number would be twice as high if the House had not forced spending reforms the last time we came up against the debt ceiling.

If you’re so concerned about governing by fiscal crisis, HOW ABOUT NOT MAKING US GO THROUGH ANY MORE OF THEM. This is on YOU REPUBLICANS and nobody else!

For the first time since the Korean War, total federal spending has gone down for two years in a row.    The Budget Control Act (BCA), which the Republicans passed, was the largest spending reduction bill of the last 25 years – amounting to $630 billion in savings over five years.    It was the largest deficit control bill since 1981 not to contain a penny in tax increases.    Our legislation successfully protected 99 percent of Americans from a tax increase on a permanent basis, and ensured that almost all of the 2001 and 2003 tax rates were made permanent, including the death tax and lower rates on capital gains and dividends.

You and your stupid death tax scarecrow. You mean the estate tax? The one that 99 percent of you people in Congress wouldn’t pay anyway, because you are so cunning and smart and can hire people to shelter your assets? You are SUCH A HYPOCRITE! Jeez!

We have ideas to revive our economy – from the Keystone Pipeline Project and energy expansion,

Hey, weren’t you just babbling about the future for our children and all that etcetera? Nice segue.

 to tax reform that would spur a new generation of American manufacturing jobs, and health care reforms that would reduce consumer costs and bring competition back into the marketplace.

WE HAVE HAD TAX CUTS SINCE REAGAN. THEY DIDN’T CREATE JOBS. THEY WON’T CREATE JOBS. STOP EXPERIMENTING ON US. Unfortunately for you Republicans, facts tend to dictate the course of situations, rather than you guys rewriting the situation to cast your reworked, scrubbed, invented facts in a jollier light. THAT WON’T WORK ANYMORE, unless it’s on the REALLY information-challenged part of your constituency.

   But the Senate believes their slim majority gives them the right to ignore everything coming from this side of the Capitol.    And Americans are paying the price because of it.

Oh. My. God. EVERYBODY knows it is the “slim majority” of House Teabaggers who are screwing over the country for their weird, far-right, incomprehensibly vague reasons. DO NOT TRY TO ADAPT THE FACTS TO SUPPORT YOUR LOONY PURSUIT OF … WHATEVER IT IS YOU WANT THAT YOU ACTUALLY HAVE A CHANCE OF CUTTING A DEAL ON.

With just two weeks to go until the Treasury runs out of money, with federal agencies closed and national parks padlocked, our message to the President and Democratic-controlled Senate could not be clearer: come to the negotiating table.

Last week it was “Ditch the Affordable Care Act”. This week, all of a sudden, it’s boo-hoo, all we want is negotiation. Make up your minds. No, don’t bother. You actually need to come to a VOTE. Enough negotiating already. If negotiating did anybody any good, maybe people would try it, one more time. But the House has been infected with some virus of age regression: many of you are acting like five-year-olds with Oppositional Defiance Disorder.

  Listen to the American people.

I HATE it when you say this. I’m an American person! I have as many national rights and obligations as you do! But I am saying the opposite of what you are! Does MY opinion count? HELL NO. You ignore me like I was a piece of gum stuck to your shoe.

 We don’t expect to get 100 percent of what we want, but we represent one half of the legislative branch and we insist on being heard.

You represent ONE-SIXTH of the government as a whole. Don’t get any more full of yourself than you already are, you hubristic, wealthy non-resident of my beautiful state of Washington. And yes, you DO want 100 percent of what you ask for because NOTHING IS EVER ENOUGH FOR YOU PEOPLE. Jeez! You are SO out of touch.

   In times of divided government, both bodies of Congress and both parties have come to the table and worked out their differences.    This time should be no different.    Congress works best with negotiations and compromises, not shutdowns and crises.

Maybe you should have thought about this before you went CRAZY and imposed your “concept of governance” on a bunch of citizens that JUST WANT GOVERNMENT TO WORK. You SUCK at compromise and you are SO sure of your own divine correctness, you absolutely do NOT get why hardly anybody is agreeing with you and just following your path like a good little bunch of cattle. Ye Gods, are you and your House buddies really that out of it? Apparently – yes.

As the Bible so wisely instructs: “Come let us reason together.”    We ask the President and Senate to do just that.    It all starts with a dialogue.    We’ll keep working hard to get the government running again – to get us through the next year and put us on a sustainable financial path forward for many years to come.

Spare me this stupid BS. Dialogue. Hah. You guys blew it, finally – took it WAY too far because you were so very sure of yourselves. Epistemic closure all over again. And you know what? If there actually was a just and loving God, he would not have allowed you lot of werewolves to start dictating to Americans what we can and can’t have. MAYBE YOU SHOULD HAVE NEGOTIATED FIRST instead of shoving it to this ridiculous, harmful extreme. GET OVER YOURSELVES.

I hope you found this information helpful. As always, I want to hear what’s on your mind, so please don’t hesitate to reach out if there’s anything at all I can do to help.

You make me SO ANGRY that I can’t sleep for a week after getting one of these STUPID emails of yours. Thanks a LOT.

Sincerely,

Cathy

Sincerely

Spokaloo

P.S.  Last week, I was honored to deliver the Weekly Address to discuss many of these issues.

It is so interesting that you never show us clips of your Town Hall meetings instead of one of these carefully staged and rehearsed so-called “weekly addresses”. I didn’t go to the last on in Spokane, but I heard it was a doozy. Here’s an idea: HOW ABOUT LISTENING TO YOUR CONSTITUENTS. Does it fit into your oh-so-special “concept of governance”? I am pretty sure you pay zero attention to ME, despite the fact I write you constantly. Your office slaves can’t even get the topic right: if I tell you about my observations of the economy, I get a note thanking me for my insights on farm policy, generally about 4 months later so I forgot what you ticked me off about in the first place. Way to communicate, office slaves! Hope you’re enjoying your enforced pay cut!

And in closing, ever hear of a guy named Lao Tzu? This is what he said –

“A great nation is like a great man
When he makes a mistake, he realizes it.
Having realized it, he admits it.
Having admitted it, he corrects it.
He considers those who point out his faults as his most benevolent teachers.”

You don’t have a clue as to what he is talking about, do you. I find myself unsurprised.